There is a debate about how harmful it is when parents put their children in the middle of their divorce dispute. When the CDC completed its study of Adverse Childhood Experiences, they listed psychological abuse as one of 10 experiences that can cause long lasting negative effects on children. This particular article is very interesting as it outlines the various ways that a parent can inflict psychological abuse on their children. This can take place when a parent demands unreasonable responses from their children. This can come in many forms, from the parent expecting the child to be perfect in everything they do to demanding undying loyalty to that parent to somewhere in between. I saw Eryk’s mom do that to him. She demanded that he love her no matter what. If he ever said that he had a great time with me on our weekends together, she would go into hysterical rages and would not stop until Eryk insisted that he lied. That he hated me and that he only loved her. This is a form of psychological abuse. 

During our divorce proceedings, we both had to have a psychological evaluation. Upon its completion, the doctor who did the evaluation said that I had no signs of psychological disorders, though he thought I was overly passive at times. He said that Eryk’s mom, though, had all the markers of Borderline Personality Disorder. In my coursework to become a licensed professional counselor, I would add Narcissistic Personality Disorder to that list. When looking at the information provided in the attached article, I can see the characteristics being played out in the way that the author shares some of the experiences they experienced. Our children are the future and they should be given every opportunity to be successful. How shameful is it that not all parents do this for their children. 

There are ways that you can protect your children from the effects described in this article. Be aware of what is going on. Hug your children and remind them that you love them. If you are divorced, remember that your children need more reminders than ever that they are important and are loved. Divorce may end the marriage, but it doesn’t end the family. Children need to be allowed to love both parents and have the opportunity to have a healthy and meaningful relationship with both parents. The more aware of activities and behaviors that we as adults can have on our children, maybe we can help limit or prevent long lasting negative effects on them.